Winning Friends & Influencing People – Part 1
I’m concerned today’s obsession with computers, cell phones, texting, twitter, Facebook, instagram, snapchat, and other communication apps, are seriously hindering real face to face communication, especially among school students and young adults.
Just go to any coffee shop or restaurant where students and young adults hang out and see for yourself. More often than not, rather than interacting verbally with one another, they have their eyes glued to there cell phones, either chatting or texting with someone else, surfing on Facebook, or playing games!
John D. Rockefeller was one of the richest men in the world. When talking about what it takes to be successful in business and in life, Rockefeller said, “the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.”
Famed author and lecturer, Dale Carnegie said, “the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people—that person is headed for higher earning power.”
I’m concerned many high school students, college students, and young adults already attempting to climb their corporate ladders are terribly ill-prepared to achieve their desired goals at work and in life for lack of proper communication skills, both verbal and written.
This week I’d like give you some insight into the wisdom millions of people around the world have found to help them become extremely successful in the business world and life in general.
Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was first published in 1937 with only 5000 copies. The book literally became an international best-seller over night. The cover of his book I own says, “Almost 15,000,000 copies have been sold in all editions, and those editions include translations into virtually every language.” With all these books in circulation all around the world, I’m still amazed at how many folks I know have never read this tremendously educational book!
“Fundamental Techniques in Handling People”
Principle 1: “Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain – Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.”
Principle 2: “Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation – Charles Schwab was only thirty-eight years old when he was hired and paid over a million dollars a year “to become the first president of the newly formed United States Steel Company in 1921. Schwab says he was paid this salary largely because of his ability to deal with people. ‘I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,’ said Schwab, ‘the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement’. There is nothing else that so kills the ambition of a person as criticism from superiors.” An excellent lesson for us parents to learn as well.
Principle 3: “Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want – There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.” Henry Ford said, “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” Carnegie goes on to say, “The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.”
I hope you’ve enjoyed Part 1 of this very brief wisdom-filled overview of Dale Carnegie’s “Fundamental Techniques of Handling People”. As always, this is just the very tip of the iceberg relative to the wealth of knowledge and wisdom you’ll find in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I believe this is a book that should absolutely be required reading in our high schools and universities!
You can download a free copy of Dale Carnegie’s “Fundamental Techniques of Handling People” outlined above at my website Wisdom-Matters by clicking on the “Free Resources” tab.
NOTE: Please see my full disclosure policy on my usage of Hyper-Links for additional information.
Next week we’ll review Part 2 of a 4-Part series on Dale Carnegie’s book because…Wisdom Matters!