Winning Friends & Influencing People – Part 3
This week we’ll continue with Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, to gain more insight into the wisdom millions of people around the world have found to help them become extremely successful in the business world and life in general.
“How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”
PRINCIPLE 1: “You Can’t Win an Argument – Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.”
PRINCIPLE 2: “Show Respect for the Other Person’s Opinions, Never Say ‘Your Wrong.’ Nothing good is accomplished and a lot of damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is wrong. You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.”
PRINCIPLE 3: “If You Are Wrong, Admit it Quickly and Emphatically. Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes, and most fools do. But it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong, and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves, let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.”
PRINCIPLE 4: “Begin in a Friendly Way. The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day by people who have learned that a drop of honey catches more flies that a gallon of gall.”
PRINCIPLE 5: “Get the Other Person Saying ‘yes, yes’ Immediately. In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing, and keep on emphasizing, the things on which you agree. The more ‘Yeses’ we can, at the very outset induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.”
PRINCIPLE 6: “Let the Other Person Do a Great Deal of the Talking. Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. Letting the other person do the talking helps in family situations as well as in business.”
PRINCIPLE 7: “Let the Other Person Feel That the Idea is His or Hers. No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.”
PRINCIPLE 8: “Try Honestly to See Things From the Other Person’s Point of View. Remember that other people may be totally wrong, but they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint.”
PRINCIPLE 9: “Be Sympathetic With the Other Person’s Ideas and Desires. Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.”
PRINCIPLE 10: “Appeal to the Nobler Motives. A person usually has two reasons for doing something: one that sounds good and a real one. The person himself will think of the real reason. You don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.”
PRINCIPLE 11: “Dramatize Your Ideas. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it, television does it, and you will have to do it if you want attention.”
PRINCIPLE 12: “Throw Down a Challenge. The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel. The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit.”
I hope you’ve enjoyed Part 3 of this very brief wisdom-filled overview of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”. As always, this is just the very tip of the iceberg relative to the wealth of knowledge and wisdom you’ll find in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
You can download a free copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking” outlined above at my website Wisdom-Matters by clicking on the “Free Resources” tab.
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Next week we’ll take a look at Part 4 to complete the overview of Dale Carnegie’s Book.